Archive for January 2007

January 30th, 2007

Phoning It In

So, how about this new “iPhone” device Apple is putting out?

“Wait, you’re going to chime in on this now?”

Hey, who is that? I’m trying to update my website here.

“Me? I’m someone who understands the current trends of the digital age. Someone who’s ‘plugged in.’ I report on technology for all national publications. I’ll be providing you with editorial feedback as you write your ‘rant’ for today. You can thank me later.”

Um, ok, well I’ve prepared some humorous observations about the iPhone and now I’m going to share them.

“Yeah, that was like three weeks ago. Every other blogger in existence had their zingers up within the hour.”

But I….

“And there are only so many ways you can go with satire. Every angle has been done. Hundreds of times over. And since then there’s been a second wave of blog posts that did nothing but make fun of the first blog posts that made fun of the iPhone. Anything and everything that could possibly be said on this subject has been up for two weeks. If you want to do a ‘current events’ blog entry, please bring some fresh, up-to-minute content to the table.”

Um….

“In fact, if you’re going to blog at all, you should be using Blogger. And you need a Facebook page. And you should mention things on YouTube and Wikipedia. We’re shaping culture here.”

Um…you’re starting to freak me out a little.

“YouTube! MySpace! The iTunes Store! YouTube! We are all the Person of the Year!”

Person of the…? Those sites are just diversions we use to waste small amounts of time when we’re bored. I thought you were a reporter…. Is this stuff really considered news?

“It’s technology, man! Everything about everyone’s life is changing all the time! I won’t let you sit here and sound off about stuff that everyone knows is over! Not on my watch!”

Ok, ok, just calm down. I have a “Plan B” for today.

“Let’s have it.”

Basically I’m going to type “This is hilarious” and then post a link to this “D*ck in a Box” video.

“Stop.”

No, you don’t understand. It’s from SNL….

“Stop.”

But Justin Timb….

“Every person who has visited a website in the past month has seen it. Everyone knows it’s ‘hilarious’.”

Oh…. How about my top albums of 2006?

“That’s it. This entry is over.”

Fine, I’ll to stop typing. But you have to promise me you’ll never come back here again.

“Good deal.”

Tags: | No Comments »