Archive for June 2005

June 27th, 2005

Innies vs. Outies

Like many big or mid-size cities, Raleigh has a part of a major expressway that branches off and loops around it, allowing people to get around the city in a faster, more convenient way (except on weekdays between 8 and 9 am and between 5 and 6 pm, when everyone wants to get around the city in a faster, more convenient way, and it turns the loop into a parking lot). In Raleigh, this loop is called 440 or the “Beltline.”

Currently, the lanes of 440 closer to the city, that run clockwise, are called the “Inner Beltline.” The outer lanes, that run counter-clockwise, are called the “Outer Beltline.”

There is a bunch of politics mixed up in location relative to the beltline. Speaking in broad stereotypes (which is always fun): People whose families have been here for a long time or “Old Raleigh,” live in “historic areas” inside the beltline. Outside the beltline it’s all transplanted northerners who came down because IBM forced them to, or because they got tired of living in igloos and ice-fishing for food. Outside-the-beltliners hate inside-the-beltliners because they’re still yankees at heart and don’t want anything to do with genteel southern culture. Inside-the-beltliners dislike outside-the-beltliners because they’re still bitter about losing the Civil War.

So, as you can imagine, some Raleigh-ites take a great deal of interest and pride in exactly where things are located, relative to the Beltline. So much so, that many of them have taken to abbreviation. When something is “ITB” it means “Inside the Beltline.” OTB means “Outside the Beltline.” JITB means “Just Inside the Beltline.” JOTB means “Just Outside the Beltline.” Seriously.

Now, here’s where it gets interesting. What happens when 540 is done? (Actually, Smitty, I have to give you credit for raising this question originally). 540, a second “beltline,” is in construction around Raleigh, on the outside of 440. It will be done in just a few years. (Supposedly.)

So, what then? We decided the logical next step is to start calling all of 440 the “Inner Beltline” and all of 540 the “Outer Beltline.”

Taking this ridiculousness a step further: The city-side, clock-wise lane of 440 becomes the “Inner-Inner Beltline,” the counter-clockwise lane of 440 becomes the “Outer-Inner Beltline.” The clock-wise “inner lane” of 540 will be the “Inner-Outer Beltline.” The counter-clockwise lane of 540 will be the “Outer-Outer Beltline.”

Oh, and the abbreviations:

  • ITIB=Inside the Inner Beltline
  • JITIB=Just Inside the Inner Beltline
  • JOTIB=Just Outside the Inner Beltline
  • ITOB (aka OTIB)=Inside the Outer Beltline (aka Outside the Inner Beltline)
  • JITOB=Just Inside the Outer Beltline
  • JOTOB=Just Outside the Outer Beltline
  • OTOB (aka IL)=Outside the Outer Beltline (aka In Louisburg)

Yes, these are the types of things I spend my free time thinking about.

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June 21st, 2005

Happy Hallowedding

So October is the new June. Also the 14th is the new 17th.

Frequent readers may remember an update several months ago when I repeatedly warned everyone not to even think about making any plans anywhere near June 17, 2006, so that you could come to the wedding… Well you can forget about that. False alarm. So sorry.

Steph and I have moved our wedding to October 14, 2006. The idea of getting married at the peak of wedding season, when everyone else on Earth will also have their wedding, ate away at us, little by little, until finally we decided to make the change. We picked October because that’s the time of year when we started dating, five years ago. And now the wedding will not occur during a North Carolina summer. Guys who will be wearing dark, wool suits, you will thank us for this, trust me.

This will also postpone our marriage for several months. But I’m all for it.

Not because I fear commitment — especially the serious, life-long kind — or because I despise the idea of having to grow up and assume a bunch of extra responsibilities or because I’m worried about how much money this thing is going to cost… Ok on some level, all those things are true, but it has far less to do with this stuff and far more to do with the fact that being engaged kicks ass.

When someone finds out I have a “fiance” — even someone I’m just meeting for the first time — they smile kindly at me and say “Congratulations, I’m so happy for you!” Then they give me a big hug and a $5 bill. It’s as if I’ve just brought a moment of shining happiness to their life. Being someone’s “husband” just doesn’t seem like it will elicit the same response.

There’s probably a way to turn all this warm-fuziness into free food. But I’m going to need some time to figure out how — time which I now have. I’m milking this thing for all it’s worth. You’re only get to be engaged once, right? Right?

Hmm… Excuse me while I go find some wood to knock on.

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June 13th, 2005

Didn’t You Get My Email?

Wow, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? Sorry for the lack of updates but I have been, like, so busy for the past few weeks. So much going on. Seriously. You don’t even know. So busy.

I wonder if anyone’s even checking my site for updates anymore. If not, it’s fine. To be honest, I have some very important emails I need to write at the moment:

From: Bobby
To: Mom
Subject: I can’t believe they interviewed you on NPR today!

You did a great job. Kev and I really need to make you a site, don’t we? Or at least remove that Post-It that says “Coming in March 2005.”

From: Bobby
To: Jenks
Subject: Ok, let’s do the anthology.

I’ve been thinking, some people may think it’s too self-indulgent or long, but it will be more exciting for the three of us to put a bunch of stuff on there. That’s what really matters, anyway.

From: Bobby
To: The Screened In-Porch
Subject: It’s been fun building you.

I can’t wait ’til you’re done and I can sit on you and not be attacked by mosquitos. Also, I’m really glad I didn’t fall off the top of you on Saturday when we were roofing.

From: Bobby
To: Oliver
Subject: What will it take to get you to stop pooping in the basement?

It’s disgusting. Just thought you should know.

From: Bobby
To: Kate
Subject: “You’re so Wayne / I bet you think this song is about you.”

Hehehe. Sorry.

From: Bobby
To: Steph
Subject: I’m really glad we’ve decided to move our wedding.

It’s going to be even more fun this way. Also, if you do end up going back for this Master’s, you have to promise not to forget about drawing and painting. It’s the only way I’ll let it happen. Also, please don’t worry about your wisdom teeth. You’re going to be fine.

From: Bobby
To: George Lucas
Subject: I never thought I’d say this…

But Episode III was one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. Well done. God I love Star Wars.

From: Bobby
To: Brian and Megan
Subject: Thanks for that job lead.

So, how are your wedding plans going? This is kind of hard, isn’t it? I think it’s cool that you’re getting married on the same day as my birthday. Of course, now you’ll have no excuse if you ever forget it.

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